My son is growing up way too fast...

I am at a complete loss. I'm sure I'm not the first parent to feel this way, if I believe the movies, I think most parents go thru this.

My son is a lot like his dad. He internalizes a lot, and doesn't argue, so everything he's thinking you sort of have to guess. And it's frustrating to say the least. I try try try to teach and get thru to him and he just shrugs, purses his lips and acts as if I have no idea what is going on, which is true.

Yesterday though he threw me a loop. I know I know. Alot of parents out there w/14yr olds would give ANYTHING to have the problems I am having with my son, if they could trade theirs. He's a good kid. He makes good choices, his friends are good kids, and honestly, he's got a good heart. And I'm pretty sure he's accepted Jesus as his savior. But anyway - I came home from work and he was on the internet IM'ing w/a friend from school. So I'm glancing back over the conversation, and whammo. There it is in big red letters. The *F* word.

Don't laugh at me. I don't talk like that. I don't expect my kid to talk like that. I ESPECIALLY don't expect him to speak like that to girls. AND I DEFINITELY don't expect him to speak like that ON THE INTERNET! I am trying to raise him to be a Godly young man. One who honors and respects his friends. One who knows the difference between going with the crowd, and standing apart in a sea of destruction and personal agony and death.

I lost it. I was so angry! I think I actually slapped him when he told me it wasn't a big deal. I am still angry this morning. He's totally off the computer. At least for a week. I don't know what to do about it. I mean I've talked I've yelled - I've been the hen pecking old nag and I'm sure it's doing no good.

I've never been one to be able to come up with unique and different disciplines. I react first, and think after. And I'm beginning to think that it is not very effective, except in teaching my son to 'contain' my explosions by hiding things from me. I don't like it one bit. I don't like this dual lifestyle. I'm one way in front of mom and her friends, and I'm someone else when her back is turned.

I don't like it one bit.